The Mystery of the Dead Hatmaker

Aphex Twin - I'm Self Employed

"I hope you're happy!" "What, what did I do?" "You know what you did. I saw you with the grater." "Grater?" "Do you think I like having holes in my socks? Do you think this amuses me?" "No I don't think it amuses you" "Then why would a man take a grater and leave raw carrot in my gym bag?" "Who did that?" "I think you know well enough who did that." "Are you suggesting I did that? Why would I do that?" "Oh, maybe a little jealousy at my new hat." "It's a very tall hat is all." "And you wish you could have one. Well you can't because I shot the hat maker." "I could find other hat makers! You watch me." "Oh yeah, and will you ever find one so daring that he would make a forty foot top hat my friend? I think not." "Oh sure, I'll just get two or three other hatmakers to make fifteen-footers and then wear them one on top of the other." "I should say you would need eighty hatmakers producing six inches each! You will never suceed at that rate. Ha!" "Then I will meet you here again in one fortnight's time, my friend, and we shall see who has the taller hat! So there!"