Imagine a world without Britain

- The vikings, at the height of their power, set sail for France. Only five of them make it and, seduced by the fine silks and fruity wines that make up the everyday existence of the Normans, they swiftly move to renounce their viking ways. Thor unhappy.

- The Republic of Ireland enjoys a prosperous few centuries and everyone on the island is happy. A long, long time afterwards, they are caught in the crossfire of a war between Denmark and France over the oil in the North Sea. Holland and Belgium join in, and it is not long before Sweden and Norway pile on. Thus begins the Only World War, as it comes to be known. Thor brightens up a bit, is seen out of doors by other gods.

- The Versailles Treaty is never drawn up, with Germany, Russia and America the only countries to benefit from the O.W.W. Between them, Roosevelt, Hitler and Stalin manage to bring the rest of the world to its knees via at-first-beneficent Aid packages which, to much surprise later, are packaged with extortionate interest rates. The media dubs the rest of the world the Third World, and the 'Three Worlds' of Germany, Russia and America look set. Thor grows unhappy.

- Trotsky flees Russia. Passing through Europe and on to South America on a beautiful pea-green boat, he is deeply shaken by the lack of a common language between him and his fellow passengers. Retiring to his quarters with 'Teach Yourself Gaelic', he is never seen again.

- Agents of Stalin organize a coup and Goering, prime minister of Germany after the fondly remembered Hitler Years are over, is assassinated. Rosa Luxemburg's granddaughter, also called Rosa Luxemburg, is installed as president. Capitalist insurgency is crushed. The People's Republic of Germany is set up, with only superficial powers of sovereignity - all matters of policy, law and administration ultimately settled in Moscow. Rosa, much less bothered about the demise of the First International and the death of Lenin than her grandma, only asks that the phrase 'the Hitler Years' never be used again.

- Thor, by now considered something of a grumpy joke by the other Norse gods, writes to the New York Times asking why, if Stalin planned to incite a Commie uprising in Berlin, did Trotsky piss off in the first place? A long and distracted broadside concluded that the differences between the two men probably amounted to something more than purely theoretical disagreements, but, signed 'Thor, Valhalla', was never published by dubious Wall Street hacks.

- Isolated and desperate, the United States of America - capitalism's final beacon - decide to attack Iraq. "Whose with us?" shout the Yank press, in what one can only presume is a garbled amalgam of Gaelic and Spanish. No one replies. While they're all off bombing Iraq, someone's kettle brings itself to the boil and, unattended, destroys the entire planet.

Harold Budd, Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois - A Stream with Bright Fish (from The Pearl LP)