2006 in review

This year we;

- got a banjo for xmas

- got fined fifty quid for littering

- rode the Paris tube one hot summer night, listening to Burial on headphones

- helped arrange a workshop at the Tate Modern (and then failed to show up)

- signed on

- didn't have a sauna

- paid tuition fees late

- got fatter

- got chatted up on the Leeds-Kings Cross train

- got some kittens

- went boating in Cornwall

- got a violin for xmas (and broke the string already)

- got punched for being foreign (we're not)

- used a bottle as a weapon

- played Dungeons and Dragons (well... some of us)

- fluffed our lines at an interview

- puked in a plastic bag... in a moving car

- got recognised by a stranger

- moved out

- moved back in

- watched Edward Scissorhands completely pissed at five in the morning*

- upset a load of people

- listened to Joanna Newsum and got real sad

- disapproved of someone's girlfriend

- made a promise then broke it

- snorted derisively

- didn't visit the cow roast

- got a Master System

- and a NES!

- slept with someone then regretted it

- signed off

- applied for a job we didn't want

- got a scar

- witnessed a burglary

- got Wii Elbow

- experienced the two faces of Mitchell and Webb (at Grimsby Sports Hall)

- had a picnic in Yorkshire amongst statues

- got a train to Truro... with Luke Vibert!!!**

- saw the pretty side of Birmingham

- went to DMZ in Leeds and didn't get in

- took acid in the Derbyshire Dales (not all of us did this, we've got reputations to, erm, build)

- got closer

- drifted further apart

- heard about James Brown first thing Christmas morning

- remembered a dream in which we are killed

- got mistaken for criminals by the local constabulary

- fell out with a stranger in the pub

- bought drugs

- sold drugs

- got eye-deed

- refused to let someone in

- walked along the banks of Warrington canal

- drank cider from the Brandy Wharf

- learnt about insects

- went to a strip-club

- and discovered it was all a front for an illegal drugs syndicate

- and that they served the best pint of Carlsberg Export in town!

- quit without serving notice

- grew our hair long

- didn't buy a single cd

- got free latte at Greggs

- drove to Meadowhall in the fog

- did all our Christmas shopping in one day, at the last minute

- made friends with someone new

- played tennis near Messingham

- played in the snow

- went down to Colchester

- stuck stickers all around Oval

- recommended the Kode 9 album every time someone mentioned Burial

- went record shopping in foreign countries

- visited Berlin

- got a new job

- played with our nephews

- went into town for some boutique beers, then back to leeds DMZ, nonchalantly strolled past the bouncers and danced around our bag for two hours before going to the train station for a four hour wait

- got fitted for a gown

- played guitar until our fingers bled

- played another person’s records in a bar in Nottingham and got a hi-five over the decks for selecting aaliyah’s “try again”

- listened to radio four late into the night and used the information gained to secure a pupillage, which we celebrated by hugging our dad in our underwear

- got cross cross-examining someone

- schooled some fools at jurisprudence and got schooled ourselves in the ways of equity, tax and company

- really dug snow, the book

- repeatedly swum 100 lengths in under an hour, or occasionally a bit over an hour, all the while in speedos

- danced a bit half-heartedly at grosvenor house

- wished we had more vinyl

- composed and disseminated a motto for swim club

- cringed watching ourself on video

- cooked a superb series of pies, both savoury and dessert

- quizzed a butler about the possibility of "beating the light" whilst holding a makeshift staff and trespassing on a wedding reception on a country estate

- sat outside and smoked alone

- had bits of our teeth fall off

- sang along to the gossip in the car with our little brother

- hugged a friend who had returned from basra

- got called a tosser from the top window of a bus in an estate in hull

- consumed, enjoyed, then made notes on ivanov, on beauty, blow up, kadare (x2), old boy, osama, the penelopiad, hidden, blue of noon, money, orphee, the line of beauty, rashomon, snow, the third policeman, portrait of a lady, the double life of Veronique, the great war for civilisation, never let me go, and so many ways to begin

- discussed the merits of gas-powered street lighting

- got the jitters listening to Miriam Makeba’s “Mbube”, even though it was subsequently used on a tv ad

- was taught the difference between moral and personal autonomy in a way which severely changed our world view

- remembered to use the phrase “are you dumb inna headpiece?” in conversation

- dj’d whilst dressed (badly) as a mummy

- refused to give in

- played with our existing nephew

- held our two new nephews

- learnt to play the drums

- drank too much

- finally made some real money

- got an ear infection

- and spent a fortnight on prescription opiates

- got our first parking ticket

- reached new lows on New Deal

- read the local paper regularly

- bought an Oyster card

- drank Dragon Stout stood next to Sgt Pokes

- learnt about the Dutch

How about you?

* that's us that were pissed, not eddie.

** ok, so he was in the same carriage. he had his kids with him. he also had a mr sparkle tee shirt on. look, it was definitely him, he's smoked scunny hash. we're mates. ahem.